The UNWIELDY Shoe Habit

A few weeks ago I stopped in at a local Payless because I had a somewhat fancy wedding to attend and I needed a new pair of kicks to wear with my new yellow and white and black silk dress (another unwieldy habit of mine : dresses) which, by the by, cost me exactly double what I was intending to spend on my wedding attire. Payless did NOT have the appropriate shoes for the wedding, however they DID have a pair of brown flats that I have been admiring and visiting on and off for approximately five months now, AND they were ON SALE. My reasons for simply admiring the shoes and merely visiting them when five months ago I could've bought them and provided a nice home for them in my shoe hanger thingie in our very full (clothing spews forth from it) closet is this: I am rather attached to the few pairs of flats I already own, one of which I bought in Brisbane, Australia and whose cardboard insides are starting to show . . . . ANYhow. I went ahead and purchased the brown flats, even though they were not in the budget and I still needed a pair of heels with which I planned to showcase my legs a little, but not too much because The Boy's parents are going to be at the wedding I don't want them to think their son is living with a common whore. I schlepped to the 24 hour Walmart which was surprisingly full of Filipino ladies and some other girls who needed to put down their slurpees and get outside for a jog, because Mother of Mary, they had big bellies . . . gah. The 24 hour WalMart had a simply amazing selection of footwear and I did in fact find the perfect pair of heels to go with my overpriced silk dress.

Here is a photo of how we cleaned up at that wedding:

Apparently I fell asleep mid-wedding. Just a word on why I was shopping for footwear at such discount stores as Payless and WalMart: My feet are freakishly small, where freakish means that I could fit my feet in every last one of my six and seven year old campers' shoes when I worked at the Pennsylvania summer camp filled with the beautiful, beautiful male coworkers whom I constantly hit on and sometimes threw myself at . . . Literally, throwing myself onto a male coworker: ANYway, back to the cheap shoes. I can't seem to find shoes that fit anywhere other than places such as Payless, WalMart, and even Zellers. So even though I only needed ONE pair of shoes for this wedding, I somehow managed to come away with TWO pairs and don't even get me started on how difficult it is to defend my Shoe Habit to the rather judgey boyfriend who claims he can get through life on a measly THREE pairs of footwear. Gah. I managed to rouse myself awake at some point: